Hello and welcome back to this weeks Self Love Blog.
How are you doing? How was January for you?
Today I wanted to talk about permission slips and why they are important. I know that sometimes hearing something from someone else makes us feel better about doing or not doing something that without that dialogue or conversation - we wouldn't feel comfortable doing/not doing.
January has high hopes for being a month that we are set a million goals into action. Most notably, lots of people take part in dry January after the festive period. I didn't this year and I have openly posted about it over on my instagram (if you found this blog through google - you can catch me on IG at @lisakellylifecoaching)
Now the reason for sharing that is because there is so much pressure to do what everyone else is doing but you really only have to do what it is that you want to do. We often compare ourselves and get caught up in other peoples plans, goals and lives but there is nothing that says you need to do anything at the same time as others.
You can set a goal, start something new or stop doing something whenever you so wish. One thing I do when I want to try new things is I will write down the ideas as they come to me and then leave them gathering dust for a little while to see if I really want to do them. That means that sometimes I am starting things at the most random times (I once started a healthy eating regime on New Years Eve because I wanted to start on a Monday - my boyfriend at the time was not impressed to say the least! Ha!)
So if there are things that you're interested in starting or trying or stopping...then this is your permission slip to say that it's totally OK if you haven't got started yet. Because me either. We're in this together... Unless of course you have been smashing the year. Then hats off to you. Share with us your top tips 🏼.
As I said, sometimes we need a permission slip from someone else to let us know it’s 100 percent ok. (Of course we can give it to ourselves but it’s always nicer to receive from someone else hey) and I’m here to give that to you today.
If your January goals haven’t gotten off to a flying start then that’s ok. There’s still a whole heap of time left!! Let’s put it into perspective. If you said to a charity, for the whole of 2024 you intend to donate £1 a day to them but so far you hadn't got round to getting started. Do you think if you rocked up to said charity on February 1st and said "sorry I'm late but I am here to start donating my £1 a day" that they would turn around and say "GET LOST!! - We don't want your money for the rest of the year. You have failed us!!" Ha it's wild isn't it because you and I know the answer is no. In this made up scenario I have a very strong feeling they would say something along the lines of "That's OK! Theres still 335 days left to donate. We would love to get you set up today ❤️ "
I hope that gives you some perspective.
When I was thinking about it in this way, it instantly made me feel better. Because it makes sense. We put all this pressure on ourselves for January but actually - it's about the bigger picture and the long term commitment to whatever it is that you want to achieve.
Take the flip side of this. Imagine you only donated the £1 for the whole of January. Because you were eager and excited and you got caught up in the whole "New Year, New Me" vibe. But then from February you dropped off and didn't donate for the rest of the year.
The bigger picture from this perspective is that starting in February will be better than only committing to the donation for the month of January. Right? I hope this is making sense!
So with that in mind, what is that you want to focus on this year? Are there things you would like to improve on? Are there things you would like to let go of?
Forget that you didn't get started in January. That doesn't matter and cannot be changed. But there is still time to commit to things that make you feel good about yourself.
Because that is what self love is. It's not about indulgent rose petal bubble baths on a daily basis. No, it's about thinking what is the best choice for the best version of me and choosing that.
Here are some journal prompts to reflect on:
What daily habits does the best version of me have?
What boundaries does she have?
What are the recurring thoughts she has?
How does she handle conflict?
How does she celebrate her success?
Spend a little bit of time reflecting on these journal prompts and then thinking about how closely you and the 'best version' of you are right now.
And then think about: What changes might you need to make to be more in alignment with her?
*I know I might have men reading this blog post but I have used she for this example without discrimination.
Has this been helpful? Can someone else you know do with this reminder? Please feel free to email them the link to have a read if you think it would be helpful.
Until next time,